Ex- England leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he said.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is definitely a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease progresses.
"Maybe that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters differently, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he stated further.
Initial Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a set of scans revealed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I sense that nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't feel sick
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be able to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Illness Development
MND can progress quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a year and more than half within 24 months of diagnosis, as swallowing and respiration become more difficult.
Treatment can only delay deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," added an moved Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced cleaning the tears off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely strongly focused on just embracing and savoring everything now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly lucky that the only real determination I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much time with the kids as feasible. We don't get those periods back."
Player Association
Elite competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with research suggesting the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by restricting the oxygen available and producing injury to neural pathways, consistent, vigorous training can initiate the condition in those previously genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, persistent approach to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a tackle pad and began participating in tackles.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the set piece in the crucial moment of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Support Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a handful of other previous team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that kind of affection and acceptance that people are there is what's important," he commented.
"Rugby is such a excellent community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it ended now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the most important honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will wish to assist in any way they can and I await having those conversations."
